Dear Dr. Pam,

I’m sure you’ve never heard of this problem. It’s really embarrassing and I don’t even want to tell my best mate. I’ve been going out with this man for six months. We started sleeping together a couple months ago. I really enjoy his company, he’s got a great job, and he gets on with my friends and family. The problem is he wants to sleep with me at that time of the month. I can’t believe this. I feel embarrassed about it and I thought men were squeamish about this. He says he doesn’t care and if he’s in the mood for sex he wants to go ahead no matter what the time of the month. Is he a weirdo? Big thanks! Naomi

worriedcoupleHi Naomi,

This doesn’t surprise me – and yes I’ve heard of this before. You’re right that some men are a bit funny about having sex during a woman’s period. Some think it’s gross and it turns them off.

Then there are those men who worry they’ll ‘hurt’ the woman somehow if they have sex during her period. They assume that because she might have things like period pains and backache that having sex will only make it worse. Actually they’re wrong and sexology research shows that orgasms give pain relief because they release our feel-good hormones like oxytocin. And an orgasm sounds like a better remedy than taking the painkiller.

But for others – like your man – they simply don’t mind. They treat it as a natural thing – as it is – and enjoy sex no matter what. You may never be able to relax about this and it may always be a big No in your mind. Ultimately that’s your prerogative.

But if there’s a little part of you that is interested in experimenting with period-sex then maybe start when you’re period’s nearly over and explain that to him. Also to lessen the chance of staining the sheets – which some neat-freaks worry about – the classic missionary position is the best as you remain on your back.

If you decide to experiment a little remember that if it ends up turning you off then he’s going to have to wait until your period’s finished. I think this choice is your prerogative!

Take care, Pamx

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