Dr. Pam Spurr is our ‘Love & Life Doc’ who talks honestly about sex, love and life each week answering the types of questions that touch your lives.
Some of Pam’s many empowering beliefs include:
Everyone has far more strength and power within them than they realise
You can face and embrace change and not be scared of it

Respect yourself and others are more likely to – and if they don’t then you don’t need them in your life!

For more Dr.Pam visit her weekly love clinic here or visit her website here.

Follow Dr.Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr.

I found Viagra in his bag  

Dear Dr. Pam I’m in my 30s and I have never been attracted to older men. But a few months ago I met a guy who is in his late 50s and really like how mature and inelegant he is. When he asked me out, I said yes! We had a fantastic first date and I really fell for him. Since then we’ve been going on regular dates and we’ve became close. Although he told me that he really likes me, our relationship was mainly emotional, not so much physical. But a couple of weeks ago he invited me to go to a hotel or a long weekend. We had an amazing time and finally had sex. Everything was going… Read More →

Dr Pam: I hate being the one to initiate sex!  

Dear Dr. Pam, I feel like a freak because I’m always the one to initiate sex with my partner. It makes me think  there’s something wrong with me or with him and I’m starting to hate initiating it. You grow up thinking men will hit on you for sex but after six years together it’s the opposite. When we get around to having sex it’s always great. But he never looks for sex. It seems he would go for months without it. What’s happening? This is really hitting my self-confidence and we are heading for arguments, I’m losing patience. I want to feel as if he wants me. Thank you! Gerri Dear “Wants to feel womanly”, I can tell you’re… Read More →

He’s obviously a game player

Dear Dr. Pam, There’s this guy I really like and we flirt quite a bit but my friend (who knows him quite well) has warned me about him. She says he’s really into playing the field and has even read books that tells you how to pick up women. From my minimal research I think he seems to have used a few tricks from such a book on me. Thing is, I really like him and I want to get to know him better but I don’t want to get caught up in his game playing. How do I get closer to him? Thank you!! Dear “Gameplaying magnet”, Oh dear it sounds like you’re falling for his tricks and game-playing…. Read More →

My boyfriend is far too cosy with his ex!

Dear Dr Pam, I’ve been with my boyfriend for nine months and he was previously with a woman for seven years. In that time they were engaged but obviously never got married. They have managed to stay on good terms as they own a house together that they haven’t been able to sell, at least he says they haven’t got a good offer. He moved out and she’s presently staying there. I’m happy they get along because they must get their house sold but I was shocked to find out he gave her a birthday present a couple weeks ago. Am I wrong to feel angry inside and also dejected about the whole thing if I’m honest? Casey, 31  … Read More →

Dr Pam: He wants to propose but i’m not ready!

Dear Dr Pam, I recently overheard my boyfriend tell his mum that he’s going to propose to me on our one year anniversary in July.   I like my boyfriend and suspect I could fall in love with him, but I don’t ever want to get married. At least not now as I’m still only in my late 20s although he is a bit older, 33. Here’s the tough part as two years ago he ended up depressed, to the point of being suicidal, when he split up with his ex and I’m afraid rejecting his proposal will result in the same. How do I let him down gently? Is there any way I can? Thanks for your help, Jill… Read More →

Dr Pam- I’m stressed & comfort eating!

Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been in my present job for two years and things have gone haywire. From the start I never got on with my boss who is very demanding and constantly does things like bring deadlines forward often for no apparent reason. I’ve never been too concerned about my weight you’d call me an average girl around size 14 or 16 depending on the brand. But in the last year I’ve piled on weight because of the stress of working with this boss. I know it’s comfort eating but it seems so hard to stop now that I’ve got into this habit. I’d love to be back to my usual size but I’m now wearing a 18, even… Read More →

Dr Pam: Hideous underwear dilemma

Dear Dr. Pam, For my birthday my boyfriend got me a hideous set of underwear from an adult shop. It’s shiny material, kind of like PVC, but not as thick.It’s really tight and laces up the back. I think it makes me look like a streetwalker. I wonder how he thinks I could possibly feel good dressing in it?? I haven’t worn it for him yet as I’ve been putting it off. He keeps askingme to slip it on when we have sex. How can I get out of wearing this? The last thing I feel is sexy in it. Thank you for any advice, Rebecca xx Hey Rebecca, You and every other woman in the land have experienced this. Men have very different ideas of what looks sexy on a woman compared to what we think. Obviously he’d love the sight of you in something tight that he could lace up…and obviously unlace. But that might be your idea of bedroom-fashion hell. Can you compromise over this? Is there something you’d love him to slip into? Why not buy him something you think is sexy and ask him to have a “dressing up” night with you. You’ll put on his gear and he’ll put on yours. Treat it like a lark, don’t take it seriously, and let him enjoy you in that outfit. There’s no harm in occasionally pandering to his tastes so that he can pander to yours. In future though you might want to suggest sexy shopping together and then you can point him in the direction of the things you’d love to wear. Sometimes that’s all it takes and then he understands what makes you feel really good. Enjoy, Pam — Visit my website www.drpam.co.uk – life, love & sex advice at your fingertips I’m finally on twitter @drpamspurr  

Dr Pam: My sex addiction

Dear Dr Pam, I’m really worried as I think I may be addicted to one-night-stands. I started having them a year ago after a relationship break-up, and now it seems that I’m with a different guy every weekend! I enjoy them and always have safe sex, but my friends are worried about me. Is it ok for me to have so many one-night-stands, and can I still catch something if I’m being careful? Thanks your help, Michelle Hi Michelle, My personal rule-of-thumb is that if you worry about something then some part of your subconscious mind is telling you it’s probably not a good thing. Or that may be it might become something that isn’t good stop. We should question… Read More →

Dr Pam: I caught my mate masturbating

Dear Dr Pam, The other weekend I caught my flatmate masturbating. I knocked on her bedroom door and when she didn’t answer I just went in. She went mad and hasn’t spoken to me since. I know she must be embarrassed, but giving me the cold shoulder is a bit harsh. How do I get things back to normal? Thanks, Charlotte xx Hi Charlotte, Bless her, I’m not surprised she’s mortified as we tend to live under the ridiculous illusion that women don’t masturbate. Of course they do and self pleasure is a fantastic sexual release as well as a great way to learn about your body. Since she obviously isn’t taking this in a light-hearted way and treating it as… Read More →

Dr Pam: ‘Dirty Talk’

Dear Dr. Pam, Please help, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and he’s recently gone into the army. Whenever we talk on the phone he always wants phone sex and goes on about all sorts of things in details. He says that phone sex is good for us both but I don’t agree! It makes me feel a bit embarrassed and I definitely feel shy saying things in detail. I love him very much and miss him terribly but if I don’t enjoy it should I still do this for him? I’m beginning to wonder if he just wants me for the sex? Lily, 23 Dear “Phone sex turnoff”, It sounds to me that he’s a normal,… Read More →