Dr. Pam Spurr is our ‘Love & Life Doc’ who talks honestly about sex, love and life each week answering the types of questions that touch your lives.
Some of Pam’s many empowering beliefs include:
Everyone has far more strength and power within them than they realise
You can face and embrace change and not be scared of it

Respect yourself and others are more likely to – and if they don’t then you don’t need them in your life!

For more Dr.Pam visit her weekly love clinic here or visit her website here.

Follow Dr.Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr.

Dr Pam: What Is Normal?

Dear Dr. Pam, I was wondering if you could clear something up for me; my friend told me that she has sex with her boyfriend up to five times a night and he ejaculates every time. But when I have sex with my boyfriend he has only ever come twice in the same night and sometimes he finds it hard to stay erect if we have had sex the previous night. He doesn’t have an STD and when I told him about my friend’s boyfriend he said she must be lying. I love him and don’t want him to feel inadequate – can you tell me what is ‘normal’ please? Jennifer, 20 Dear “What’s normal”, I’m glad to hear from… Read More →

Dr Pam: 1 night stand shame

Dear Dr. Pam, Recently I had my wicked way in with the barman at my local pub after hours. I had a great time and part of me hoped he’d ring me because I left my mobile number with him. He never rang though. I now feel too embarrassed to go in there just in case he thinks I’m easy. All my mates go in there so I want to go back. How can I face him and try and get back to normal when I feel so disappointed that he never took it any further? Thank you! Caroline xx Dear “Too embarrassed”, First off, I think you need to get it out of your head that you are “easy”… Read More →

Dr Pam: My risky fantasy

Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve always longed to try risky sex and think about things like having it off in my office or on my boss’s desk. I’ve been with my boyfriend 18 months and I’ve told my boyfriend about my fantasies and he’s not interested. You see his uncle is related to my boss and my boyfriend says that my ideas are good as fantasies but that he’d hate to get caught. If we got caught it would get back to his uncle.   I think he’s being a bit of a wimp. He’s a really nice guy but I wish he’d be more exciting and let me play out one of these fantasies. Any tips on how I can… Read More →

Dear Pam:His filthy fetish

Dear Dr Pam, My fiance and I have been together for two years and I really love him but recently I’ve discovered he has a filthy foot fetish! I knew he was amazing at giving foot massages and thought I was very lucky getting so many from him. But now I’ve seen he’s been looking at foot fetish sites on our computer. What seems slightly weird is it’s like he hadn’t been trying to hide this either. How do I confront him with this? Anna Dear “Fetish-phobic”, I’m a touch surprised you’re worried about a lifelong supply of foot massages? Many would revel in those! I’m also surprised that you describe his fetish as “filthy” because it hardly sounds as… Read More →

Dr Pam: I feel so used

Dear Dr Pam, A few months ago a man joined the company I work for and I’ve always fancied him. He has always given me a friendly vibe though I’ve never been able to tell if he fancied me back. Last week after a group bonding away day we ended up at his. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you but we had sex and in my mind it was fantastic. The next morning he gave me lots of big cuddles and it seemed obvious I really enjoyed being with him. So I assumed I’d be getting a text or email from him and I hoped he was going to ask me out for a proper date. I’m really… Read More →


 Dear Dr Pam, I’m not looking for a relationship having been single for about a year and very happily so in the last six months in particular. One of my best friends has similar tastes in men and we got chatting about this recently when I met her for drinks. I hope you don’t think this is strange but we landed on the idea of man-sharing! Neither of us wants a relationship but we’re also not interested in having to go out and pick up different guys all the time. So now we’re talking about sharing casual relationships with the same guys. The more we chatted about it the more we thought it could work well as long as we… Read More →

New Mum Wants To Get Naughty

Dear Dr. Pam, My husband and I believe that our newborn baby daughter should sleep in our room in her Moses basket until the age of six months. Because of all the scare around babies sleeping in bed with their parents we don’t have her in our bed but we like to have her nearby. The problem is it makes us feel very self conscious about having sex though I don’t really know why. I’m sure our fears are irrational as it’s not like a sleeping baby is paying attention but please let me know if you think it’s wrong for us to do this? Thank you for your help! Love, Sarah (I’m 31) Dear Sexy Mamma, Well it’s refreshing… Read More →

Dr Pam: Can I trust him again?!

Dear Dr. Pam, I’m 29 and 6 months ago I found out that my boyfriend of nearly 3 years cheated on me with a 22-year-old when I was out of town for a few weeks. He said it meant nothing as it was only a one-night stand but I find it very hard to trust him now. Since then my feelings for sex with him have gone downhill when once upon a time they were at a high and I liked fairly frequent sex. But to be honest in the past 6 months since I found out I haven’t wanted it at all. I’ve been to the doctor as well about this as I have a bit of pain when… Read More →

Dr Pam: Xmas crush on my in law!

Dear Dr. Pam, Every Christmas my sister comes to stay with her husband and children since our parents died. Before our parents died in a car crash we all went to their house. But now we’re the only family each other has. Five years on we’ve all pretty much come to terms with the cruel time in our life. My sister and her husband tend to stay till New Year’s eve. I’m single and I have a major problem brewing and need help. I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to fall for my brother in law. He always flirts with me when he’s around. Last Christmas I was so tempted to have kiss him. I know it would be a… Read More →

Dr Pam: Sex during my period

Dear Dr. Pam, I’m sure you’ve never heard of this problem. It’s really embarrassing and I don’t even want to tell my best mate. I’ve been going out with this man for six months. We started sleeping together a couple months ago. I really enjoy his company, he’s got a great job, and he gets on with my friends and family. The problem is he wants to sleep with me at that time of the month. I can’t believe this. I feel embarrassed about it and I thought men were squeamish about this. He says he doesn’t care and if he’s in the mood for sex he wants to go ahead no matter what the time of the month. Is he… Read More →