Negotiate like Taylor Swift!

Negotiate in real life like Taylor Swift did with Apple Last week, Taylor Swift wrote an open letter to Apple and CEO Tim Cook in which she complained about the company’s decision not to pay artists during the three month free-trial period of Apple Music. By also threatening to withhold from them her hot new “1989” album, the new reigning Queen of Pop also gave a crash course in Negotiation 101. Many of us could use some help in that department. A new survey from staffing firm Robert Half revealed that although 89 percent of workers believe they deserve a raise, only 54 percent plan on asking their employer for one this year. In fact, the survey showed, many workers… Read More →

I lap danced & he laughed!

Our love and sex expert Dr’s Pam Spurr tackles your dilemmas. Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for a year and I wanted to surprise him. My local pub was offering lap-dancing classes so I took a class and practiced a routine. It was so much fun! Once I was feeling confident I decided to surprise him. I set the scene in my flat and put on my sexiest outfit. When he came over I turned down the lights and told him I had a show for him. I actually felt nervous but I was determined to do it. When I started he began to giggle. Then he couldn’t stop giggling. I ended up feeling a complete idiot. We had a big row and… Read More →

Dr Pam:I can’t please him!

Dear Dr Pam, Hello I have been with my boyfriend for a year. He has been doing all the work in the bed. When I try to do some of it and get on top of him he says it is uncomfortable. I want to please him but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Can you help me???? Dear “What am I doing wrong”,   Okay, let’s get something straight – enough of the “doing something wrong” attitude. One easy route to stress in the bedroom is to believe there are ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ ways of doing things. Start thinking in terms of what works for you both – what works is the key word.   Even then, what works… Read More →

The Emotional Eaters Diet

Understand Your Personality Better and Conquer Your Emotional Eating Dr Pam Spurr, self-help expert, MIW life coach and agony aunt, and author of The Emotional Eater’s Diet helps you come to grips with impulsive leading. Who hasn’t headed for the biscuit tin when they’re upset? I know I have! But when it comes to comfort food and emotional eating some personality traits play into how much we binge on comfort food when we’re emotionally hurt or stressed-out. In my latest book I highlight a few key traits but one in particular is impulsivity. Most people can believe impulsive at times. But this personality trait can run from that very impulsive person – think of your friend who always jumps into things… Read More →

2.4 Children

I remember when we told some mutual friends we were expecting again, the looks that were exchanged between various couples. I immediately picked up on the glance and asked what was that look, giggle or knowing ‘hmmmmmm’ for?   In short, we were told quickly how great expanding your family is. How having a 2nd, 3rd etc baby somehow cements you as a family and it is great fun. The 1st now finally has a playmate and you will both marvel at your genius baby making skills…..”darling didn’t we do well producing the most beautiful children – how clever and amazing are we?” Then comes the ugly truth – ‘oh yes, we definitely row more now and about anything – the… Read More →

Im Back! Mum of 2 and surviving (just)

Hell dear dear MIW’S MIMS (Thats Miss Independent Woman’s Miss Independent Mum’s!) I am back with you…now complete with a daughter who is 5 months old and has the makings of a true Miss Independent Woman herself! 2 weeks late and born via Induction (although this time no pre-eclampisa, forceps or vontouse needed hurrrahh!) she popped out into the world with a big yell and scream surprising myself and the bearded one. Again we never found out the sex of baby 2 and what an absolutely amazing surprise it was to finally meet her. Having un aided birth this time was just amazing. Having watched her come out with my own eyes, I was back at my home town hospital… Read More →

January joys

January joys? Really? January can be a time when we are still feeling a little dimmed from the last months celebrations and suffering from our struggling gym routine, wrecked resolutions, detox damnation, cold, flu, depression and just a general feeling of the lack of summer sun. But you know, I like to see January as a month to stand firmly on top of my mountain and spend some time thinking about what I’ve have achieved my life and where I am going. I am a ‘January Birthday babe’ so I see this month as being a time to have fun in. Yep… I know it’s cold, but rather than staying in and watching depressing TV and thinking about all the… Read More →

Dr Pam: Not orgasmic

Dear Dr Pam, I’m 21 and lost my virginity on my last birthday. Second boyfriend later and I’ve still never had an orgasm. Even by myself I find it hard to orgasm, maybe because when I was younger I was discouraged from talking about anything sexual and my own shyness makes me think I shouldn’t be looking up how to solve this. I try to let go, especially when my boyfriend has a go but I’m that much of a control freak that it eventually gets too intense for me and I have to ask him to stop. He’s the first in a long time that hasn’t seen my lack of climaxes as a challenge, and we do have really… Read More →

Using your mouthpiece

I play the flute and use a mouthpiece – hurrah! Apart from being tons of breathy fun any woodwind player will also tell you about the importance of the mouthpiece, as a sound has to be made first before the player can then formulate notes which in turn lead to the wonders of music. So I believe the correlation commences between a persons ability to vocalise life experience, which then can benefit others and create a melody that resonates hope and life wherever we go. This week as some of you may know is National Adoption Week in the UK, a time when the Nation pauses for thought and considers the concept of the family unit in all its variants… Read More →

Dr Pam: Can you overuse a vibrator?

Hi Pam, I’m a single lady and I see a few guys now and then but I’m not desperate for a relationship or anything unless the right guy comes along. I never really used to pleasure myself much but a month or so ago I invested in my first vibrator. I’m now experiencing Charlotte from Sex And The City-syndrome and can’t seem to put the thing down! I don’t use it for extended time but it’s the frequency that concerns me. I use it pretty much every day – is that too much? Do you think this is a novelty obsession which will wear off? Just call me Cassie Dear “good vibrations”, I’m so glad you got in touch because… Read More →