Which colours attract men

Get Your Colours Right for Dating Success By our self-help expert and dating coach Dr Pam Spurr In my new book on dating I’ve covered how the colours you wear say so much about your personality when you go on a date. Of course every fashionista knows how colour can make a killer impact, but for the rest of us it can be a mystery.  We know the basics like if you want someone to notice you then definitely wear red. But something like black can be either sexy and sensual or conservative. In my new dating guide I mention how when certain colours work better – or worse – at creating attraction and sexual chemistry. So don’t forget you definitely… Read More →

Zero Libido?

I’m Too Young to Lose Sexual Desire By our self-help expert and dating coach Dr Pam Spurr In interviews for my new dating guide I spoke to loads of singles about dating and relationships. I was surprised how many singles in their 20s and early 30s struggled with sexual desire. Normally we assume women struggle with desire a bit later in life when they’re juggling careers, mortgages, children and might be in a relationship that’s gone a bit stale. Many younger women felt embarrassed to admit it. But it gave me the opportunity mention the following key ‘life levels’ for them to think about. Check these out and discover what might play into your lack of sexual desire: YOU AND HIM… Read More →

Signs he’s a commitment phobe

Seven signs he has commitment issues By our self-help expert and dating coach Dr Pam Spurr You’re really into him, things are going well but they haven’t really progressed. You sense he’s holding back but it’s hard to say why. In interviews for my new dating guide THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD – I heard lots of reasons why guys won’t take it to the next level. From he went through a messy breakup and swore off relationships – to his father had commitment issues. That meant his father was emotionally distant and has left your man finding it hard to get close to you.  The problem is many men with commitment issues don’t let on they don’t want to take… Read More →

I lap danced & he laughed!

Our love and sex expert Dr’s Pam Spurr tackles your dilemmas. Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for a year and I wanted to surprise him. My local pub was offering lap-dancing classes so I took a class and practiced a routine. It was so much fun! Once I was feeling confident I decided to surprise him. I set the scene in my flat and put on my sexiest outfit. When he came over I turned down the lights and told him I had a show for him. I actually felt nervous but I was determined to do it. When I started he began to giggle. Then he couldn’t stop giggling. I ended up feeling a complete idiot. We had a big row and… Read More →

Dr Pam:I can’t please him!

Dear Dr Pam, Hello I have been with my boyfriend for a year. He has been doing all the work in the bed. When I try to do some of it and get on top of him he says it is uncomfortable. I want to please him but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Can you help me???? Dear “What am I doing wrong”,   Okay, let’s get something straight – enough of the “doing something wrong” attitude. One easy route to stress in the bedroom is to believe there are ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ ways of doing things. Start thinking in terms of what works for you both – what works is the key word.   Even then, what works… Read More →

Dr Pam: Not orgasmic

Dear Dr Pam, I’m 21 and lost my virginity on my last birthday. Second boyfriend later and I’ve still never had an orgasm. Even by myself I find it hard to orgasm, maybe because when I was younger I was discouraged from talking about anything sexual and my own shyness makes me think I shouldn’t be looking up how to solve this. I try to let go, especially when my boyfriend has a go but I’m that much of a control freak that it eventually gets too intense for me and I have to ask him to stop. He’s the first in a long time that hasn’t seen my lack of climaxes as a challenge, and we do have really… Read More →

Dr Pam: Breaking up is hard to do!

Dear Dr Pam, I’ve just turned 30 and haven’t had a proper relationship for three years now. For the past three or four months I’ve been seeing a guy I’d known for about a year. I know he really likes me but I don’t feel like I can give him any more than what I’m already giving him. I see him about once a week, we sleep together, I don’t text or call him much. I know he wants more and it’s not right to string him along. I do like him, I enjoy the sense of companionship, but I really am not interested in having a relationship with him. This whole situation has kind of snowballed and now I… Read More →

Dr Pam: I caught my mate masturbating

Dear Dr Pam, The other weekend I caught my flatmate masturbating. I knocked on her bedroom door and when she didn’t answer I just went in. She went mad and hasn’t spoken to me since. I know she must be embarrassed, but giving me the cold shoulder is a bit harsh. How do I get things back to normal? Thanks, Charlotte xx Hi Charlotte, Bless her, I’m not surprised she’s mortified as we tend to live under the ridiculous illusion that women don’t masturbate. Of course they do and self pleasure is a fantastic sexual release as well as a great way to learn about your body. Since she obviously isn’t taking this in a light-hearted way and treating it as… Read More →

Dr Pam: ‘Dirty Talk’

Dear Dr. Pam, Please help, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and he’s recently gone into the army. Whenever we talk on the phone he always wants phone sex and goes on about all sorts of things in details. He says that phone sex is good for us both but I don’t agree! It makes me feel a bit embarrassed and I definitely feel shy saying things in detail. I love him very much and miss him terribly but if I don’t enjoy it should I still do this for him? I’m beginning to wonder if he just wants me for the sex? Lily, 23 Dear “Phone sex turnoff”, It sounds to me that he’s a normal,… Read More →

Dr Pam: What Is Normal?

Dear Dr. Pam, I was wondering if you could clear something up for me; my friend told me that she has sex with her boyfriend up to five times a night and he ejaculates every time. But when I have sex with my boyfriend he has only ever come twice in the same night and sometimes he finds it hard to stay erect if we have had sex the previous night. He doesn’t have an STD and when I told him about my friend’s boyfriend he said she must be lying. I love him and don’t want him to feel inadequate – can you tell me what is ‘normal’ please? Jennifer, 20 Dear “What’s normal”, I’m glad to hear from… Read More →