Which colours attract men

Get Your Colours Right for Dating Success By our self-help expert and dating coach Dr Pam Spurr In my new book on dating I’ve covered how the colours you wear say so much about your personality when you go on a date. Of course every fashionista knows how colour can make a killer impact, but for the rest of us it can be a mystery.  We know the basics like if you want someone to notice you then definitely wear red. But something like black can be either sexy and sensual or conservative. In my new dating guide I mention how when certain colours work better – or worse – at creating attraction and sexual chemistry. So don’t forget you definitely… Read More →

Zero Libido?

I’m Too Young to Lose Sexual Desire By our self-help expert and dating coach Dr Pam Spurr In interviews for my new dating guide I spoke to loads of singles about dating and relationships. I was surprised how many singles in their 20s and early 30s struggled with sexual desire. Normally we assume women struggle with desire a bit later in life when they’re juggling careers, mortgages, children and might be in a relationship that’s gone a bit stale. Many younger women felt embarrassed to admit it. But it gave me the opportunity mention the following key ‘life levels’ for them to think about. Check these out and discover what might play into your lack of sexual desire: YOU AND HIM… Read More →

I lap danced & he laughed!

Our love and sex expert Dr’s Pam Spurr tackles your dilemmas. Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for a year and I wanted to surprise him. My local pub was offering lap-dancing classes so I took a class and practiced a routine. It was so much fun! Once I was feeling confident I decided to surprise him. I set the scene in my flat and put on my sexiest outfit. When he came over I turned down the lights and told him I had a show for him. I actually felt nervous but I was determined to do it. When I started he began to giggle. Then he couldn’t stop giggling. I ended up feeling a complete idiot. We had a big row and… Read More →

Dr Pam:I can’t please him!

Dear Dr Pam, Hello I have been with my boyfriend for a year. He has been doing all the work in the bed. When I try to do some of it and get on top of him he says it is uncomfortable. I want to please him but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Can you help me???? Dear “What am I doing wrong”,   Okay, let’s get something straight – enough of the “doing something wrong” attitude. One easy route to stress in the bedroom is to believe there are ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ ways of doing things. Start thinking in terms of what works for you both – what works is the key word.   Even then, what works… Read More →

Dr Pam: Not orgasmic

Dear Dr Pam, I’m 21 and lost my virginity on my last birthday. Second boyfriend later and I’ve still never had an orgasm. Even by myself I find it hard to orgasm, maybe because when I was younger I was discouraged from talking about anything sexual and my own shyness makes me think I shouldn’t be looking up how to solve this. I try to let go, especially when my boyfriend has a go but I’m that much of a control freak that it eventually gets too intense for me and I have to ask him to stop. He’s the first in a long time that hasn’t seen my lack of climaxes as a challenge, and we do have really… Read More →

Dr Pam: Can you overuse a vibrator?

Hi Pam, I’m a single lady and I see a few guys now and then but I’m not desperate for a relationship or anything unless the right guy comes along. I never really used to pleasure myself much but a month or so ago I invested in my first vibrator. I’m now experiencing Charlotte from Sex And The City-syndrome and can’t seem to put the thing down! I don’t use it for extended time but it’s the frequency that concerns me. I use it pretty much every day – is that too much? Do you think this is a novelty obsession which will wear off? Just call me Cassie Dear “good vibrations”, I’m so glad you got in touch because… Read More →

Dr Pam: Breaking up is hard to do!

Dear Dr Pam, I’ve just turned 30 and haven’t had a proper relationship for three years now. For the past three or four months I’ve been seeing a guy I’d known for about a year. I know he really likes me but I don’t feel like I can give him any more than what I’m already giving him. I see him about once a week, we sleep together, I don’t text or call him much. I know he wants more and it’s not right to string him along. I do like him, I enjoy the sense of companionship, but I really am not interested in having a relationship with him. This whole situation has kind of snowballed and now I… Read More →

Dr Pam: I hate being the one to initiate sex!  

Dear Dr. Pam, I feel like a freak because I’m always the one to initiate sex with my partner. It makes me think  there’s something wrong with me or with him and I’m starting to hate initiating it. You grow up thinking men will hit on you for sex but after six years together it’s the opposite. When we get around to having sex it’s always great. But he never looks for sex. It seems he would go for months without it. What’s happening? This is really hitting my self-confidence and we are heading for arguments, I’m losing patience. I want to feel as if he wants me. Thank you! Gerri Dear “Wants to feel womanly”, I can tell you’re… Read More →

My boyfriend is far too cosy with his ex!

Dear Dr Pam, I’ve been with my boyfriend for nine months and he was previously with a woman for seven years. In that time they were engaged but obviously never got married. They have managed to stay on good terms as they own a house together that they haven’t been able to sell, at least he says they haven’t got a good offer. He moved out and she’s presently staying there. I’m happy they get along because they must get their house sold but I was shocked to find out he gave her a birthday present a couple weeks ago. Am I wrong to feel angry inside and also dejected about the whole thing if I’m honest? Casey, 31  … Read More →

Dr Pam- I’m stressed & comfort eating!

Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been in my present job for two years and things have gone haywire. From the start I never got on with my boss who is very demanding and constantly does things like bring deadlines forward often for no apparent reason. I’ve never been too concerned about my weight you’d call me an average girl around size 14 or 16 depending on the brand. But in the last year I’ve piled on weight because of the stress of working with this boss. I know it’s comfort eating but it seems so hard to stop now that I’ve got into this habit. I’d love to be back to my usual size but I’m now wearing a 18, even… Read More →